Mr. Marlow Stern of The Daily Beast today recieved a threatening Riffergram from David Miscavige’s personal attorney Jeffrey K. Riffer. We use the term “Riffergram” to mean a legal threat letter from Riffer. Whenever anyone receives a Riffergram it means Scientology’s Pompadoured Pontiff David Miscavige is livid with enturbulation.
The term “Riffergram” is inspired by the deadly Kobragram of an earlier era. Back in 1990’s at the dawn of the internet, Old Guard critics received legal threat letters from Scientology attorney Helena Kobrin. Old Guard called these missives “Kobragrams.” Ms. Kobrin is notorious for having attempted to destroy the entire internet newsgroup Alt.Religion.Scientology (ARS) when she issued a remove group command (rmgroup) on January 11, 1995. This was one of many Scientology’s attempts to destroy internet groups and websites.
Many received Kobragrams in those days. Nowadays people receive the Riffergram. The subject of the the Riffergram received by Marlow Stern is the rage David Miscavige experienced over the allegation that he is a coronavirus denier; this notwithstanding the fact that Miscavige bizarrely called the coronavirus a “planetary bullbait.”
In Scientologese, to “bullbait” someone is to engage in a hostile attempt to provoke them into rage, fury, or an overreaction. David Miscavige apparently sees the global pandemic as an attempt by the planet itself to provoke Scientology into rage, fury, or an overreaction.
Miscavige is not having any of COVID-19’s provocations. Scientology’s multi-billion dollar cash pile is there to tide the Cult over if its income crashes as it has in the pandemic. Miscavige is throwing money at the problem by dumping tankers full of disinfectant on all of the doorknobs, tables, toilets, hallways, e-meters, and all of the other objects and surfaces in Scientology’s facilities. Dousing Dave is hellbent to drown the virus in Decon-7.
Conversely, we note that Scientologist Grant Cardone has been successfully bullbaited by the pandemic. Cardone is quite enturbulated dealing with the economic hit he is taking as well as the lack of attention he is receiving in the middle of global disaster. While Grant struggles to manage his one billion dollar debt load, he engaged in an outrageously irresponsible fake bankruptcy PR stunt to get himself some attention. Cardone is a quivering and pathetic mess these days.
In 1994, David Miscavige gave a sworn declaration in Scientology’s lawsuit over Time magazine’s 1991 cover story Scientology: The Thriving Cult of Greed and Power. The author of the story was Richard Behar, who, like other journalists, described David Miscavige as the man who ran Scientology with an iron fist and controlled everything down to the smallest detail. Enraged, Miscavige ordered his attorneys to sue Time for an astonishing $416 million dollars.
In his 1994 court declaration, David Miscavige denied that he exerted that any level of control over the daily affairs of the Church of Scientology:
Since March of 1987, I have been Chairman of the Board of Religious Technology Center (“RTC”), a California non-profit religious corporation recognized as tax exempt under Section 501(c)(3) of the Internal Revenue Code. RTC is not part of Church management, nor is it involved in the daily affairs of various Church of Scientology organizations or missions. RTC ensures that the trademarks of Dianetics and Scientology, and the technology they represent, are properly used around the world. It exists to see that Dianetics and Scientology technology is safeguarded, is in good hands, and is properly used.
This is the typical line that the church usually takes: That David Miscavige is the “ecclesiastical leader” of Scientology, the chairman of the board of the Religious Technology Center (COB of RTC) and is not involved in the Church of Scientology and its day to day activities — and certainly not in its notorious retaliatory schemes against the church’s perceived enemies.
See our previous article for more on David Miscavige running the daily affairs of the entire Church of Scientology.
David Miscavige wants Mr. Stern and the entire world to know that he has been way ahead of the entire world in handling the threats posed by COVID-19. Mr. Riffer opens his Riffergram by making this laughably ridiculous statement:
The world would be in a better condition today had governments and other organizations timely followed Mr. Miscavige’s lead.
Right. The governments of the world could have averted catastrophe had they taken the advice of a high school drop out who runs a religious cult. In any event, the Riffergram lays out the standard precautions Miscavige ordered. We note that these precautions were specified by health experts who were not Scientologists:
The Riffergram informs us that David Miscavige personally ordered masks, gloves, and hand sanitizers. Riffer says Miscavige “ordered them before others realized their significance.” Apparently, everyone in the entire Church of Scientology is too goddamned stupid to realize that masks, gloves, and hand sanitizers might come in handy during a global pandemic.
It is typical of David Miscavige’s staggering narcissism for him to claim that only he alone understood the need for masks, gloves, and hand sanitizers. Miscavige makes it sound like he is surrounded by a vast ocean of barely conscious and incompetent mouth-breathing morons in his own Church. Ed Parkin readily comes to mind here; Miscavige may have point.
The Riffergram states that David Miscavige personally ordered supplies and issued direct orders. These orders would have come from his office in RTC. These orders were binding upon all organizations in the Church of Scientology. Given these facts stated in the Riffergram, David Miscavige clearly lied in his 1994 legal declaration in which he stated:
RTC is not part of Church management, nor is it involved in the daily affairs of various Church of Scientology organizations or missions.
Our point: David Miscavige can’t even pretend that he doesn’t run the Church of Scientology down to the level of ordering that doorknobs be cleaned with Decon-7, a viral disinfect he takes credit for ordering along with masks, gloves, and hand sanitizers. This makes David Miscavige the Chief Purchasing Agent and Building Manager for the Church of Scientology International and all other churches in the ecclesiastical heirarchy of Scientology churches,
Riffergrams are known for lavishing a steaming pantload of praise upon David Miscavige. Our favorite Rifferisms about his wealthy and insane client:
1. Riffer wrote a few years ago of his client:
Mr. Miscavige is the leader of a dynamic global religion expanding across five continents. His duties are herculean and accomplishments monumental.
2. In another letter Riffer wrote:
Mr. Miscavige is one of the great individuals of our time… He is a man of impeccable character… He has improved, enriched or saved millions of lives. He has done so personally and through the Church’s numerous social betterment programs that he initiated or expanded and that are available for Scientologists and non-Scientologists alike.
Riffer’s statements reek so badly of the malodorous stench of a pig sty on a hot day that they need to have a tanker car of Decon-7 dumped on them.
The Riffergram received by the Daily Beast:
Riffergram